[Disclaimer, as is most likely necessary for some readers]
Those who know me would agree that I would be the last person to play the “sexism” card. I dislike the behavior and views of anti-male feminists as much as I can’t stand misogynists. I have no desire to change “History” to “Herstory” or demand pronoun awareness where his or her/himself or herself/He or She, etc, replaces every gender-neutral “he”. While I would like to see gender gaps lessen in terms of pay rate and promotional opportunities in many fields, but I understand that we’re living in the midst an age of change. Theoretically. For an independent, driven woman, I’m not really much of a feminist, as I have trouble seeing where the alleged misgivings feminists generally cry about are. Men and women do generally have different strengths and weaknesses and trends and interests… I’m perhaps what you could call a gender moderate. I actually resent being drawn into discussions about gender because I find the entire topic completely inconsequential and inane, similar to discussions about race. However, sometimes…
I will be focusing on the female end of this issue as that is the side I identify with. Hopefully comments will provide us with a male perspective. Additionally, my experience is based strictly in America, as that is where I was born and raised, and perspective on both genders from other countries may be a bit different. I can not say definitively. Keep in mind also that the religious portion is only one part of this problem. I am not saying it is the only contributer, just a major one.[/disclaimer]
Despite the fact that most of us living in the developed world are adapted to living in a post- feminist society, used to seeing women working in positions previously dominated by men, actual gender roles are still a hurdle. There is no front I see this promoted more on than on the religious front. However, here I will not be discussing the horrors of female circumcision or the outrage of Muslim law, but rather two cute little Christian children’s books I found on the shelf of K-mart last week.
Its a sad and quite inaccurate misconception that all little girls love pink, frilly Disney princesses, Barbies/Bratz/etc., jewelery and makeup, waiting for their princes on white steeds to slay the dragon, and all little boys love sports and Tonka trucks, Transformers, video games and Legos, slaying dragons for the (weak) little girls. I’m sure many readers here broke the stereotype in one way or another. Personally, I never fit the little-girl stereotype. Not once.
I was more interested in classifying Dinosaurs, illustrating stories, and reading fantasy novels than anything else, and had more fantasies about slaying (or taming) the dragon myself (while wearing bloody, blackened armor, usually with powerful magic or in league with some dire wolf companions) than having a knight in shining armor do it. STILL I am repulsed by the color pink and the cliche “feminine” niche I was expected to fill through middle school and high school, and even to a small degree in college (though honestly at an art school, gender lines basically do not exist). I, and many like me, do not want to grow into the cliche female gender niche, our primary purpose being the bearing and raising of children, taco night, shopping for fun, and enjoying what luxuries our husbands bestow on us. And honestly, in this age, the pressure to grow into that niche is significantly less, especially as the SYF (single young female) lifestyle grows more prevalent. So why is it that girls growing up today DO feel pressure to conform into this lifestyle, and are impressed upon to enjoy the pink and frills and wait for their knights in shining armor? Similarly, why are boys impressed upon grow into protectors and providers for the weak and needy (read: females), fixing things around the house, disarming the robbers, bringing in the majority of income, and so on?
Here, we’re forced to look back into the child’s upbringing. It’s a simple fact that childhood affects adulthood, as is easy to see in the indoctrinated, and the propagation of religion and belief systems within family structures. Tradition maintains subtle but important aspects of interaction such as gender roles. Again, it is arguable that these roles have become obsolete and more of an illusion in society today, between gay rights movements, women’s move into the workplace, and similar movements in conjunction with acceptance of previously unusual or “dysfunctional” family structures. In these previously unusual structures we can see men and women switching roles, as stay-at-home dads come into existence–males doing housework and fixing dinner while women bring home the bacon, or there are two men/two women in the house instead of a traditional heterosexual relationship, single moms or dads, or even the woman holding a higher paying job than the man.
However, it is on religious fronts, not the social, that we see the obsolete concept of the stereotypical, concrete, gender role persisting. I’m not going to take time to go into Islam here, we already know and agree that they are medieval in their beliefs, honor-killing women for showing skin in public or falling in love with the wrong person. No one except the Muslims themselves would agree that this is acceptable behavior. Just as many of us will deny that moderate Christian beliefs are a destructive force in society. They’re not the crazy fundamentalists teaching their kids that the world is 6000 years old, or sending them to Jesus Camp, etc. They’reкомпютри just good, average citizens, promoting good strong values in their children. They’re probably also buying their kids books like this: God’s Little Princess Devotional Bible and God’s Mighty Warrior Devotional Bible.
I was in K-mart when I walked by these. Read the product descriptions. Remember my ramble earlier about “stereotypical” boy and girl interests? Don’t these seem a bit familiar? Click around on a few of the recommended girls books, too. “Gigi – God’s Little Princess” and “Will – God’s Mighty Warrior”, all receiving four or more stars, all promoting the stereotypes I outlined earlier.
Will: heroically rescuing his sister, adventuring through the jungle, doing anything with God’s protection! He goes on a creepy-cave adventure and pretends to be a pirate with his friend
Gigi: Learning to dance beautifully to make God proud of her! Confidence because she is a daughter of the King! She has a tea party and becomes cheerleader of a soccer team!
Why?
Anyway, of course, I must have just found flukes, right? I’m sure these were the exceptions because we, as moderate Christians, clearly do not espouse such outdated values in this day and age. We’re enlightened and progressive!
Gigi, God’s Princess, also has an animated show, a doll, a pop up purse, a sticker book, and is recommended right alongside Veggie Tales and an Aslan necklace on Family Christian Stores, as well as BooksforChristians.com and countless other sites that I just don’t have the time or interest to explore. Her books all have 4+ stars and reviews gushing with praise. The author, Shiela Walsh, also writes devotional bible studies for women (as opposed to men or everyone?) and inspirational books on prayer, as well as Christian-friendly romance novels. If these books had been printed in the late 80’s/early 90’s, they would have been presents from relatives. My brother would definitely have had a Will Warrior book (that I would have read jealously). This is not a fundamentalist publication by a crazy extremist author, and the stereotype divide is not alien to Christian children’s publications and movies, even today, in this “progressive” age.
Ok, so what? These are great kid’s stories, have wholesome messages at heart, and promote the Faith in a family friendly, non-violent, safe way! Getting worked up over something so innocent seems a bit reactionary and unnecessary, right?
Maybe it IS just a personal issue, the fact that I personally can never relate to Gigi, religion totally aside for sake of this argument. Maybe it is my personal belief that a human should be self defining, not defined by who their father, mother, or spouse is. Gigi is told to be proud that her FATHER is a King, not that SHE is a princess. Its technicality of language here, but the two mindsets are totally different. One mindset promotes the idea that you should value yourself based on your relationships with others, and the other promotes the idea that you should value what you are. It just so happens that women in the past have been defined based on who their father or husband was rather than on their own terms. This is an outdated mindset that no self respecting person should take on in the 21st century, and these “wholesome” Children’s books are encouraging it!
The other problem that might be considered more of a “personal” problem is that I can not relate to any of the activities Gigi does. I am more interested to read about Will’s pirate adventure or the creepy cave than Gigi’s tea party or dance class. But I am not the target audience of the Will books. I struggled with this sort of thing as a kid — to come to terms with interests outside your gender can be very difficult, and creates unnecessary tension throughout adolescence. I’m not just referring to crying about getting the wrong toy in a Happy Meal, but deep-seated issues such as sexuality and morality. When it is imprinted beginning in childhood that is “wrong” for a boy to like pink and flowers and “wrong” for a girl to enjoy questing and dragon-slaying, what will a boy or girl think when they find themselves drawn to the forbidden interest? What about the boy who would rather have a tea party, or the girl who would rather explore the creepy cave? Are they “wrong”? Obviously, looking at this from a mature perspective, the answer is a resounding “NO”, but from the child’s perspective, it is not so clear. Children should not be worried about fitting into traditional gender roles anymore! There is absolutely no need for the anxiety or alienation from peers that sometimes results, nor the guilty soul-searching that results through adolescence, when the family and culturally impressed perception of “wrong” conflicts with reality and the child becomes old enough to understand the nature of the conflict and its potential moral consequences. Am I wrong in other ways? Am I evil? Am I a monster? Why don’t I fit? Am I gay (sometimes yes, sometimes no)? Am I sick? I’ll never find another like me. I’ll never be accepted. Etc… etc… All based on the inability to conform to the illusion of gender roles.
Unfortunately, the ideal where these questions need not be asked is not the reality yet. I was not the only girl who slew dragons as a child, and those who did have similar stories of alienation and the feeling of “wrongness” throughout adolescence and at the age of reason. While good Christian publishing houses release family friendly children’s publications promoting a clear stereotypical gender line will fly under the radar and help keep this illusion in place.
After all, didn’t Susan, the queen of Narnia (who filled the niche of a strong, independent girl), get dramatically rescued by Prince Caspian anyway, while her brother, Peter the High King, fought the Big Bad Guy to protect the land?
The Antichristian Phenomenon
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