The Antichristian Phenomenon

After July’s stream of brave confessions, the time has come to publish those that have been posted on the forums. These confessions have been made by truly antichristian people with great courage. Whether this bravery is sincere is up to you to decide.

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I’ve been away for a long time, all the while with db0 demanding I start posting again.

Well, I have read Waldheri’s confession, and figured it’s time I confess my own.

Forgive me father, for I have sinned. I haven’t been to confession for 11 years. The last time I was still in Catholic school and the friar told me I’d get a beating if I didn’t come up with a good confession. I was quite dishonest because of that, I made up a bunch of sins to avoid the beating. Sorry for lying in your face. Also I forgot to mention that I had taken a leak in the friar’s holy water. What’s his status by the way? I haven’t heard of him for ages, but I suspect he’s training the CIA in special interrogation techniques for use in Guantanamo.

Forgive me father, for I have sinned. When I left that Catholic school I also stopped reading your holy book. Mostly because I finally had the free choice on which books to read, without getting threatened with a wooden ruler. But when you write the sequel can you put some orcs and elves in it? Some tough ass wizards as well perhaps. Wouldn’t it be much cooler if Jesus had a magic wand and shouted “You shall not pass” at those bloody green-skinned Romans?

Forgive me father, for I have sinned. I broke an oath. When your servants arrived in my ancient fatherland, they made my ancestors swear never to serve their ancient gods any longer. Of course the oath was made with a torch near their home and a blade near their neck, but that’s inconsequential. I apparently forgot that these oaths sworn to you count for many future generations as well. I have reverted to honouring my own kind, but I can see now how wrong I am.

Forgive me father, for I have sinned. When my biology teachers mentioned Darwin to me, the whole thing made sense. When I saw the proof to myself through the practice of science, I became even more stubborn in these false beliefs. At the time, I didn’t know yet all this “evidence” was just an attempt to frame your son. It must have been great for Jesus to ride on the backs of dinosaurs. Was it a T-Rex?

Forgive me father, for I have sinned. As a 12 year old boy I began exploring my own body and have done things so vile in the privacy of my bedroom that you must have grown blind just from watching me play with socks. Obviously I hadn’t learned the message of wholesome sing-a-longs such as this one. Out of repentance for my sins, I dedicate that song to you.

I’m supposed to say a bunch of Hail Mary’s now, right?

Lately in an intense debate about homosexuality with commenter Brian a lot of mentions of sin came up. Apparently, being born earns you a one-way ticket to hell, unless you telepathically make up with sonny Jesus. Indeed, we’re all sinful and we must wash those nasty metaphysical shit-stains away before we can even think of walking through the pearly gates and receiving a pat on the back from Peter. I’d love to meet people like George Carlin, Albert Einstein, Nietzsche, Plato and other brilliant minds of the past, as well as contemporary geniuses like Stephen Hawking and Daniel Dennett – but I must confess I could never really stand heat and overcrowded places, so I guess it’s time for me to confess my sins to miracle-man J.C.

Sorry J.C., I’ve read parts of your old man’s book, and I thought it was utter shit. I plan on reading the thing integrally soon, so maybe that will alleviate some of my doubts I have about claims about your daddy. It’s just that it doesn’t make any sense to me, and that the parts I’ve read are inconsistent. Sometimes it appears that the book has been written by many people over a huge span of time, but that’s just silly. And even if it is, it’s inspired by The Cosmic Dude, and he wouldn’t constantly change his mind, would He? Maybe the doubts that have come to mind would vanish if I stopped using logic, because logic may very well not apply to the Big Guy. I’ll try that.

Sorry J.C., I have an inquisitive nature. I try to understand the world within a framework that is internally consistent and from which I can make predictions so I can test whether my framework is correct. If my understanding is sufficient, I try to manipulate the universe so it will act in a way that fits my needs, like other people have so I can write this article and spread this information on a global interconnected network. I’m even studying biomedical engineering so I can help people overcome disease, or make their suffering less. I’m really sorry for that J.C., I know you’d rather see me have faith, and not interfere with the Man’s big plans or try to uncover his creation. Those ill people must surely have had it coming from The Benevolent One, because of their filthy sins.

Sorry J.C., I’ve been trying to treat people equally. I’ve had the delusion that we all should just get along, and not give special treatment (either positive or negative) according to the people’s cultural background, religion, appearance or sexual preference. But I realise now, we should stop these false religions such as science and save the scientists from their demonic sect. We must deny them the rights that allow them to spread their vile and putrid ideas. We have to inform them of You, J.C., even if they say they don’t want anything to do with you – in their hearts they do! I’ve always accepted that homo- and bisexuals are simply born with other sexual preferences and let them have their way. I’ve always advocated that they have the same rights as heterosexuals, because I never found any reason why they ought not have them. I’m sorry I let you down J.C., I’m sorry I defended these people from the wrath of your followers – when clearly Father thinks they’re not people at all, but rather animals.

Sorry J.C., I’m sure that I’ve sinned more, but I can’t think of any more sins. I don’t feel cleansed yet, but that’s just because I’m sinful no matter, right? Maybe I should just go around and inform people of how bad they’re living their life and make them feel bad and fill them with fear for the licking flames of hell – people need that, they don’t listen to reason anymore. Just asking them to accept you in faith is a thing of the past. But I’ve accepted you, J.C., and I hope you can put in a good word with your omnibenevolent father, so he may not roast, burn and choke me for all eternity until the end of time. I have faith it’ll be all-right, he’s a reasonable man…